storing sunny and cloudy memories

this time, last year i was in chiang mai, Thailand. naik basikal round round go coffee. i find it difficult to ride a bicycle after few years tak kayuh. i remembered how stupid i was trying to langgar everyone. and paling classic, muka sheffer nak langgar pakcik tua. this year, i'm in Melbourne. naik tram, naik train. no big deal. nothing to laugh about or tragic about it. hope so lah, since i'm still at home. i'll be going to my cousin's place for dinner. hopefully nothing tragic or funny happens in the train. next year, where will i be? maybe i should go back to chiang mai. naik basikal lagi, jalan2 minum kopi, tom yam kung. or maybe somewhere else, Philippine ke. maybe everytime this year i should go somewhere. maybe baby!

'sometimes you just have to jump' that was his answer when i asked for his advice. i guess i should just jump and see where i land. but the financial crisis will go on for about 2-3 years.. and if jump and land 6 feet under, bungkus jer lah! although he did mention to have a good parachute before i jump.. ah, hell with parachute. just jump! oh well, tak cuba tak tau kan?

being an adult means that you have to make your own decision and bare with the consequences of the decision. the older i get, the tougher the decisions i have to make. i wish i could just turn back time and be 7 years old forever. i certainly didn't have to make decision at that age. i am fickle, indecisive, difficult and stubborn. i can't make a stupid decision myself. i can't decide if i want a black handbag or a tan handbag, i ended up buying both. i can't decide what to wear in the morning, i ended up taking the one on top. in the train, i can't decide to sit left or right, i ended up standing the whole trip. during my class break, i can't decide if i wanna use the elevator or take the stairs, i ended up taking the stairs and spill coffee all over myself on the way down. then, i can't decide if i wanna cook chicken or lamb, i defrosted chicken, then 3 minutes later, i defrosted lamb and few minutes afterward, i decided to cook chicken. i can go on and on...

today i finally did what i wanted to do for last few months. so, i have this so called 'tabung xx'. savings for the day that might not come. sheffer and khafidha laughed over my tabung xx. well, after much thinking about the tabung and calculations here and there. i used up the money to give others in need. i've been dying to it since january, today i finally did. Kiva , a non-profit that allows you to lend as little as $25 to a specific low-income entrepreneur in the developing world. You choose who to lend to - whether a baker in Afghanistan, a goat herder in Uganda, a farmer in Peru, a restaurateur in Cambodia, or a tailor in Iraq - and as they repay their loan, you get your money back. It’s a powerful and sustainable way to empower someone right now to lift themselves out of poverty. i'm trying to find more channels to distribute my savings. any idea feel free to comment. human rights organisation?

today, i did something bad. bad kuna, bad kuna! 4 days ago, i bought a book. since my classes are not that stressful yet, i managed to finish it. today, i went to the shop and told them that this was a gift to a friend but my friend didn't like it, so i want to exchange it with something else. so, i took another book which i liked and exchange it. i feel so bad! hahahhahaha plus, i exchanged with a cheaper book so that they refund me the difference. muahahahahha. GUILTYNYAAAAAA!! that's a big-g! GUILTY! another thing, this week is my first week of class. i'm still on holiday mood. during the lectures, all i did was day dream. i barely listen or concentrate to what they were saying. i keep on thinking about my dream house. hahahahaha. weird much! as if i have one. i sketched it on my notebook. i can't concentrate in class. all i can think of is how nice my dream house would look like. the flooring, the walls, the lights, toilets, kitchen (of course), my walk in wardrobe!...

in a different life, i would like to have victory ford's multibillionaire boyfriend, nico riley's editor-in-chief career and wendy healy's apartment. if only i can have that sort of life, only for a day. reality check. my apartment is nothing like wendy healy's, my career is nowhere like nico riley's, and multibillionaire boyfriend? LOL. i think watching tv, movie or series too much is not healthy. i slept late watching dvds and series. got back from class, watched series again, 10 episodes straight. i love my life now. laze around, curl up in my blanket for hours in front of the tv :)