storing sunny and cloudy memories

its hard enough to deal my issues here by myself. its even harder to know that my mother is also trying to deal with my issues there by herself. i guess its more difficult for her because she is there to deal with my issues which is awkward for her. she asked me what to do? and i was like..ermm..i don't know :) i guess when i was growing up, my mother always taught me to control my emotions. she told me to cry for as long as i want and then wake up the next day as if its a new day. i guess that worked in some occasions. i was chatting with her and she said 'i jst want u to be happy in whatever u do n ...!!' it's not so cold lately. i'm happy! work is starting to pile up and i'm drowning myself in it. 5 more weeks to the end of this race. i have absolutely no idea how i'm going to survive the next 5 weeks. it's weird how melbourne has turn me into a different person, i mean academically. its either melbourne or msia style is different. i used to be good w...

this time last year.. after buka puasa, we went for dessert. yumm yummm.. those were the days.. for 4 years throughout my university life, i think it was the greatest journey of my life. if i were given a chance to change, i wouldn't want to change anything. at all. i was so happy at times, and i could be so sad at times. laughed over stupid jokes, cried over suki's death. now things are not as rainbow and sunshine anymore. im not the same person that i was 7 years ago. 7 is big number. if you round it up, it will be 10. there is no easy way of saying this. i detached myself from those feelings i had with me 7 years ago and i fell out of those feelings i had for 5 years. no one is to be blamed for my actions. it is my decision and my decision is final. things can never be the same. things will never be the same. i've moved on. i hope he can do the same. i don't see me and him as how we used to be. we are now 2 different people that can never be together again. i never m...

while looking here and there on my company, i found this. SAW CHOO BOON: Petronas one of the new 'Seven Sisters' by Saw Choo Boon Petronas has been described as the role model others would like to follow. What it has achieved in 34 years is astounding and makes it a prime model of the ‘Malaysia Boleh’ spirit WHEN I first came to work some 40 years ago, my father advised me to join an international company. He told me that it would offer a bright career, respect in the community and a comfortable life. Much has changed 40 years later. While my father was right and the international company I joined did provide me all of the above, the benefits he described are no longer exclusive to international companies. International companies and their people are in no way special. In my opinion, they all adopt the same ingredients, which they are able to excel at. It starts with the right leadership -- visionary to continually set challenging objectives to drive the company forward, commer...

i miss her! there are times when i wake up in the morning and wonder where i am. i still can't believe i'm here. thousand miles away from home and the people i grew up with. i did not plan on coming here, it just happened. a lot of things in my life that happened in the past just sort of happened. i've plan it in a certain way, but usually it didn't happen the way i wanted it to be. when i was 14, i wanted to have a boyfriend but i didn't plan that it would be my bestfriend's boyfriend. it just happened. i was young and stupid at that time. i'm glad we are stronger than ever now. when i was 15, a good friend passed away. it just happened. back then, we had a lot of plans but when he passed away, things change. everyone started to live their life to the fullest. i think now i understand why they all got married at a very young age, they want to grow old with the person they love before its too late. when i was 16, i wanted to become an architect. i still want...

so many colors. which one to choose? orange? pink? yellow mustard? black? they say never judge a book by its cover, i guess they were right. my first week of MBA, my nazi looking lecturer set out some rules to follow. we have to read dozens of journal and summarize it every week, we have to be in class 15 mins earlier or he will lock the doors, we can't talk when he talks. these are some of the rules that he made it clear during our first class. then came dr.phil's twin brother lecturer, he looks like dr.phil, he talks like dr.phil. gosh! disturbing. i feel like i'm in oprah. during the first week, he seems like a funny person, chatty chatty type of person. very nice and funny. we all loved him! after 5 weeks, both of them showed their true colors. the nazi lecturer is the sweetest and nicest lecturer ever! he brought us to lunch. he gives good tips on how to do a good paper, i guess he is just strict academically, because he wants a good paper from us. dr.phil is starting ...

this entry is dedicated to sheffer, it's 3:17am, i'm alone and it's cold. sheffer, you were right, I SHOULDA LISTEN TO YOU! i need my girls so bad now!! i just need a hug from liyana, sheffer to be there and nod but not say a word, khafidha making stupid jokes and amoi to scold me. :(

life is not like what it looks like in tv series. weird much? relationships especially, are not as easy as what it looks like. it could be wonderful to have a boyfriend as hot as nate archibald, as nice as dan humphrey and as bastard as chuck bass. but they are all characters. characters that are made up by some genius who makes me wonder when am i going to get a guy like nate. sadly, in the real world you can't have a guy like nate or dan or chuck. hmm.. maybe you'll get chuck if you're lucky. winter is almost over. i know this might be quite in the open. winter fling is no longer in the picture. was it winter fling or holiday fling? is there one? hahahha. i can't remember. office fling is feeling rather upset with my decision. i'm sorry i can't please everyone. i choose who i wanna please and sorry your name is not in the list. evil gedevil? i know! blair is evil. so what? she only went out with james to make chuck jealous. the only difference between me and b...

when i'm happy, i sing. when i'm alone, i sing. doooo bbeee doooo beee dooooo.. here are the songs on my current playlist and the ppl who introduced me to these songs. mardy bum, artic monkeys - yana outta my head, ashlee simpson - sheffer the girl, city and color - ajee's wedding viva la vida, coldplay - adam lost, coldplay - jijo angel, dave matthews band - afiq get low, flo rida - myself hide and seek, imogen heap - myself little star, kelis - yana ohh la, the kooks - hafiz and is naive, the kooks - hafiz and is 4 minutes, madonna & justin timberlake - sheffer my mistakes were made for you, the last shadow puppets - jijo i don't love you, my chemical romance - yana & sheffer real girl, mutya buena - sheffer last night, p. diddy & keyshia cole - yana, sheffer & khafidha straight up, paula abdul - kakak sensual seduction, snoop dog - khafidha no air, jordin sparks & chris brown - khafidha you only live once, the strokes - yana love is colder than de...

the other day, my mom gave this longg berjela jela ceramah. this was the exact phrase my mom used. The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “Marriage is my Sunna. He who shuns my Sunna is not of me.” i was telling her about my school work, my assignments and that i miss working. she started asking me if i was going to go back and work for the current company. because, technically i'm still their employee, i took unpaid leave. i told her that i'm not sure where i'll be going after this 1 year, but i'm definitely going back for yana's wedding. then, there she goes.. she started asking if i'm seeing anyone here. i told her i'm dating mike polanski, my classmate. hahahhahahhahah. then i told her the truth, that i don't think i'll be dating anyone, yet! then she got really upset and gave me all this islamic ceramah talk. blurgh! what's wrong if i gave up on relationship? and what's wrong about not wanting to get married? ...