storing sunny and cloudy memories

it's 7:09am and i'm supposed to go to work... but as i was in the shower i remembered something that i need to let it out. hahahhaha. i'm so going to be late. whatever. i realised something so painful yet so real in life, you don't always get what you want. and..the things you want so bad don't come easy. you have to work hard for it. but..what if the things that you want are the things that you can't have. yesterday was a sad day. very sad.

danish (left), danial (right) unlike my usual friday, last friday i went for afiq's going away makan makan at his house. afiq has been my bestfriend for the past 10 years. (wowwww, calculating how long i've been friends with him gave me a shock) oh ya, so i went to his house with my two girls, khafidha and sheffer. we were first to arrive and when we arrived, afiq's nephew the twins danial and danish came running to us shouting 'siapa tu?' i answered, 'aunty kuna', then they quickly ran to their tok mama and tok ayah informing them 'aunty kuna sampai'. we walked in, and they were very polite to salam the three of us. salam cium tangan punya jenis..so cute! being danial and danish, they were hyper the whole night. running around the house, chewing my handbag's chain, following us the whole night. they sang songs for us, performed us with national anthem and their school song. we played games too. name the car game and to my surprise, they know the

it will hurt over time it will hurt less and less and eventually i'll remember and it only hurt a little. "Christina Yang, Grey's Anatomy"

we talked, we laughed, we paused, we cried we held hands the entire time we hugged each other for the longest time thank you for everything i love you more than all the stars.

when things are rough i like to watch this video. he makes me feel better :) "experience is what you get, when you don't get what you want" "when you're doing a bad job and nobody points it out at you, that's when they have given up on you" "they only do it to make you better" "brick walls are there for a reason: they let us prove how badly we want things"

my entry March 23, 2010: there are so many things i need to buy this month. 1. black pencil eyeliner 2. jubilee lipstick 3. face mineral 4. mineralize blusher 5. tea tree shampoo 6. perfume it's june and i still haven't bought my lipstick and minerals. huarghghh! and the perfume! but that's an exception, because i can't decide which one i want. other than that, why can't i stick to my list and get it. i can't seem to prioritize which items i want. everything is a need, instead of want. i neeeeeeeeddddd to get the face mineral asap because my face looks like a kerbau already. my eyes are starting to look like panda's eyes. blame it on the 2-3 hours sleep i get every night. so difficult for me to fall asleep when sleep used to be my middle name. even the sleeping pills are not working. blurgh!

i was reading my old entries, from year 2004 til today.. and i cannot believe who i have become.. can somebody pls explain what happened to me? where did i go?

to my little boy, happy 1st birthday to you! may Allah S.W.T bless you with happiness and many more years to come. love, mama na

"every day holds the possibility of a miracle." - Elizabeth David watched Sex and The City 2 with my sisters from another mother. it was hilarious! we laughed and enjoyed it very much. woohooo! great great movie. i love my girls and i wouldn't want to watch it with anyone else. i'm glad i went for the midnight show although i had trouble waking up this morning. then again, it was worth it.

Seoul, South Korea, 10 May - 15 May 2010.

this second week of june has been the happiest, toughest, busiest, most painful week ever in my whole entire life. my body seems to slowly give up on me. it will not do as i say. i can't sleep, eat much or function my brain well. even my hearing and eyesight is losing its momentum. my tears nerve seems to be oversensitive lately. i even cried watching karate kid. wtf? what happened? i don't know. i don't seem to care whatever happens around me anymore. seriously, if i were driving alone and a tree falls on my car i couldn't care less to do anything. i would probably drove off as if nothing happen. what the hell is wrong with my body? my mind is playing tricks on me. que sera sera.... whatever will be, will be the future's not ours to see que sera sera what will be, will be.

yes, everyone is into world cup now. i get it! colleagues, friends, bosses, family members are excited for this world's most anticipated football event. im now more worried about where to hangout at night as mamak, cafe, coffee shops will be filled with fans cheering, shouting (to an extend), discussing. they usually take up a lot of space as they come in rombongan mak kiah. pfft! i must say im a little excited to see what drama world cup would bring this year. 2006, it was zidane's famous headbutt drama. despite that, i still love him :) when i was growing up, my dad would grab the remote and changed the channel, practically forcing me to watch it with him. i didn't bother to know but sat there with him. then, my brother grew up and soon he replaced my spot. yahooo! in 2002 was the year i was officially introduced to world cup. mainly introduced to kaka, thierry henry, drogba and of course the one and only casillas. im not into football, i must admit. i never l