storing sunny and cloudy memories

twenty ten has been quite a roller coaster ride. there were times where i was up in the air happy and free, and there were times where i just wanna sink to the deep ocean. most of the time, i just wanna sink and not float back to reality. as much as i look forward to twenty eleven, twenty ten flies in a blink of an eye. my twenty ten started off good with trip to Johor and Singapore. then it got better, i learned to cook roast chicken, went to Melaka with the girls, weddings, birthday parties, trip to Melaka again, business trip to Korea, Hassan was born, diving trip to Perhentian and Cebu Island, and many more good memories i had with the girls and family to remember. in between all that... some things i wish it never happened. i lost my bestfriend of 10 years, lost my tonsil, my excess skin in my nose, lost my luggage to some stupid thief, lost my favorite cigarette pouch, lost my Christmas gift, send off my bestfriend to Melbourne. twenty ten is definitely not my year. 16 hours fro

4 more days to the end of 2010. so many things happened this year that i can't even remember anymore, or choose not to remember. this year has definitely not been my year. although i managed to tick most of my resolution that i made early of this year, there were so many challenges that came along the way. i almost gave up and wanted to waive the white flag. i somehow managed to overcome it with a little bit of luck and a lot of praying to God. it's not how bad your fall and hurt yourself, it's how brave and strong you are to carry yourself back up and move forward. (cheh cheh, i think i copied from a website) just like bungy jumping, which i was crazy enough to do. once you're up there at 21m, you just have to be brave and jump. whatever happens next, happens. whether half of your body gets dipped in the pond water (ewww, yucks!) or your head spins like a washing machine on tumble dry mode you have to face it and give credit to yourself that you did it. im very hap

like many years before, 1st January is the day where i'll start my new resolution. for this year, let's flashback to Friday, 1st January entry. 2010 has finally arrived. This year's resolution: 1. Spend more time with Umi & Ayahnda 2. Spend more time with the girls instead of work. (except for the past 2 months) 3. Pray more often. 4. Send my car for service on time. 5. Send my car to spa everything 3 months. (except for the last 3 months) 6. Eat healthy food. (at times!) 7. Become a good employee and not ponteng work. didn't take medical leave since April. 8. Travel at least 1 international & 3 domestic destination. Singapore, Philippines, Melaka, Johor and Pulau Perhentian 9. Scuba dive at least 3 destination. hahahah! Philippines and Pulau Perhentian 10. Read more books. 11. Buy a house :) so, the only item i'm going to carry forward is to buy a house. i almost bought a house but realised i didn't want to settle down at Shah Alam. i might just b

long overdue post. last month me and my dive buddy, amoi went to cebu island for my closing 2010 diving trip. not knowing anything about that island, we followed eric's schedule and plan. cebu pacific air was alright. wasn't what i expected, maybe because i was expecting the stewardess to dance through the safety procedure briefing (saw that on youtube) pre-traveling has always been my least favourite part. the mess you have to go through before getting to the fun part. blurgghh! messy and horrible. once we got on the island, everything falls into places. the diving was superfun! accommodation was pretty scary and basic. after all, we only paid less than $10 per day. diving with turtle was the highlight of the trip. of course i enjoyed taking pictures of the lionfish, nudis and others but never that i imagined i would be swimming 10m underwater with a turtle. mandarin fish was also part of the great experience. it's not always that we get to see mandarin fish because the

i wish i could turn back time and undo the damage i've done in the past take back all the harsh words i said that i didn't mean to say think of the consequences before making any decisions. having said all that, i do wish that next year will be better than this year i know next year will be better than this year. 23 days to the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011. although technically, in islamic calendar yesterday marks the new year. salam maal hijrah 1432. may this new year brings happiness and joy to all of us. :)

for almost 2 years i did an analyst job for the company i worked for. although i kinda hate the anal work that i have to do, it definitely had thought me a lot. attention to detail, read between the lines and also graph presentations (which i dreaded everytime i have to do it). sometimes i miss my analysis work. today is one of the days. from the picture above and some of the number crunching analysis, the findings of my analysis are focus on my readers: 47.5% from Kuala Lumpur 30% from Petaling Jaya 10% from London 7.5% from Indonesia 2.5% from New York 2.5% from Selangor Kuala Lumpur & Petaling Jaya readers' ISP's: 35% - Telekom 12.5% - Time 12.5% - Celcom 7.5% - International Islamic University 5% - Petronas 2.5% - Maxis 2.5% - Packet One 2.5% - Vads London readers' ISP's: 7.5% - Sky Broadband 2.5% - Petgas UK Trading Limited Others 5% - Research in Motion 2.5% - Google, from New York 2.5% - Texas Instruments Browser: 30% - Chrome 22.5% - Firefox 12.5% - Safari 3

two more days to December five more weeks to two thousand eleven so many things had happened this year don't even know where to begin time flies when you're having fun fun ke? hahahaha as much as i hate what i had to go through this year, im glad it did i learned a lot from my mistakes i discovered so many things about life, people, work and Islam especially which for many many years i took it for granted, just because i was born as a Muslim. im nowhere perfect at that chapter but im trying my best even the small little things that count, ill learn. i will continue learning and to face my fear. which reminds me, i conquered my fear recently. the fear of myself, my reaction and how i would feel. to my surprise, it didn't hurt at all i wasn't bothered that our table was next to each other that my seat was few inches away from his and he was seated next to his new girlfriend this is not my first time, pfft to look at his girlfriend face-to-face, that didn't bother me.

my brain is a complex organ that is playing around with my mind and thus effects my mood. this complex organ of mine is also making me overthinking things i should not be thinking. it is a negative poison that is spreading out like cancer to other organs. this cancer virus is spreading to my face, hence the wrinkles. it is also spreading to my body, resulting the yo-yo weight loss. i reckon chicken's nails are nicer than mine, due to excessive biting. my white hair is making me look like a grandmother who does botox. that's just 5% of the physical issue. internal organs are just gone. sometimes have no heart. don't care whatever happens around me. i constipate. i have difficulty breathing at night. i have trouble sleeping, which usually is not the case at all! can't even describe my tear duct. it is just not functioning. comes at weird time and can't be controlled. that's just 5% of the internal problems. just so you know.. they say, mind over matter. i'm go

1 hour to get ready for work 1.5 hours to drive to work 12 hours at work 1 hour lunch break 1.5 hours drive back from work 1 hour at home 2 hours coffee 4 hours of sleep. good night! Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

i've know the groom since i was 13 (i think) or maybe 14 years old. and now i'm 26, in which half of my life is with this superdebab dude. it was the IRC years that kept us communicating, then it was the MSN and now its the SMS. i knew him when he was still kurus (of course) without his glasses, rambut center parting. along the years he grew sideways, needed another pair of eyes, and stayed botak most of the time. we survived painful relationships, family issues, financial burden, ridiculous assignments and homework (he hates math). and now he's married. woohooo!! i couldn't be any happier than i already am today that he is blessed with a nice, loving and caring wife. she is his doctor love. the best part of this whole thing is, she's super nice to me. (i hope so) hahahahhaah! unlike some other guy friends that i have, their wives are just...(oh well) i'm so happy for you! please do take care of your wife. wishing you both the happily ever after you deserve. con

did i tell you that i moved? adopted to another family which is superduper cool beyond anything i can imagine. i was hoping to settle down in a terrace house, but i got offered to stay in a bungalow. what's there to complain? i'm grateful for what was offered to me. consider myself lucky. everything is starting to fall into places now. (i hope so) busy scheduling my holiday plans. not that i have a lot of money to go travel.. but i figured if i keep on saying i don't have money therefore i won't travel, then i won't. when i have money, i don't have time. if i have time, i don't have money. i'm just gonna go with it and just travel. so the hell with all the excuses. life is too short to take my own sweet time and think. the last time i took my time to think, i lost it. sometimes you need to lose something to realise how much you want it. lesson learnt: want something, go for it! most things in life don't wait for you. not even the train, or plane, or

"picture is worth a thousand words" refers to a complex idea that can be interpreted with a single still image, in which can be easily understood by everyone compared to words. a particular picture, conveyed a single message with a million of words gushing through my mind. although i can't really interpret the exact emotion that were portrayed in that picture, i knew it wasn't something dark. maybe grey. despite all that, i am really concern of my emotions and how i feel with that picture. didn't feel anything at all. nothing at all. probably the same feeling i felt when i saw the characters in the picture. shocked maybe? oh come on...i've seen the two real life, what more could a picture do to me? pfftt! lately, i've been having trouble understanding my feelings. hahahahhahaha! i think that department needs to be restructured. as stupid as it sounds, it is true. i can't differentiate if it's happy, sad, angry, scared, jealous, overwhelmed, irritat

they say put your past behind and move forward they say there is no such thing as what if.. there's only what was, what is and what will be. they can say anything and everything.

spent 3 days in the city. i didn't like it. the surroundings, people, infrastructure, roads, safety, everything! except for this capital cafe i went. cute, small, but nice. rojak sedap! yesterday it finally hit me that he finally found rachel. it will never be the same. i guess, we are not meant to be. :)

one tree hill is one of our thing. i tried for 20 minutes and i just couldn't do it. don't think i'm ready. scared or miss? i don't know. hahahahahah so poyo right? get over it kuna! whatever.

have you even been in an accident? i have not. Alhamdulillah! the only traumatic accident experience i had was few years back. i was driving and a stone hit the left side window and smashed my window into pieces. ever since, i was scared if i see the guy with high-tech machine mowing lawn by the roadside. that was probably the only traumatic experience i've ever encountered. yesterday i was talking to my friend over a set-up lunch date between me and this handsome guy. the lunch went well, the guy is good looking and has a british accent. over lunch, i was asking my friend why is she not moving on with her life and let go of her past relationship? and her answer was 'scared' a.k.a post accident trauma. she is scared that everything will be the same and she couldn't bear the pain. so she's holding back from this guy who treats her like princess. sacrifices his time, ego and pride just for her. but she keeps testing him to prove that every guy is the same. she doesn&#

this week work was fun! not only we played game of life, we walked around the mall, took extra lunch time, clocked-in late, clocked-out early, and we watched movie. i'm enjoying this freedom. temporary freedom i should say. sadly, today is the last day i get to do all this. next week will be the same old boring working day. pfftt!