storing sunny and cloudy memories

after 1 week or probably 10 days in-denial coupled with my stubborn attitude that refuses to stop smoking, i  had told my colleague that i felt different and that i might be pregnant. of course, he (my colleague) was jumping joy as if he's the one carrying for the next 9 months was utterly excited. i couldn't be bothered at that time because drowning with work, reports, stress, i was already late for dinner with the 'sex and city girls' (that is another topic, who are the sex and the city girls). so we rushed for dinner and on the way out there was a pharmacy and he told me to quickly grab the pregnancy test and off we go. funny enough, i took the cheapest non-branded test just because after the miscarriage and months trying, i wouldn't want to buy the most expensive test and be disappointed. went for dinner with the girls, and half-way through our dinner i told them that my period is 10 days late and i might be pregnant. sex and the city girls being sex and the cit

Alright, what happened after April 2016? Today as I am writing this entry, it is officially 21st December 2017. I have decided to start again (blogging) not because it is currently a trend for mothers to blog or anything like that. It is purely because I hope or want my son to be able to read when he grows older. Or for me, personally to reminisce about my son when I am older. So, what happened after April 2016? I was announced by my Gynae that I was pregnant, 6 weeks or so. So her medication and what she had asked us to do, worked! We were over the moon excited. Beyond word excited! We didn't tell a lot of people only close family and friends. We had our first check-up and we heard the heart beat. It was loud and it was the first time of me listening to a heart beat of a tiny dot inside my womb. Again, went back home all excited and filled with joy. At about the 2nd check-up, I think week 10 during the ultrasound, there was no heart beat. The doctor scanned everywhere but ju

today was the results appointment and discussion with the doctor. so as usual, we rushed to get the first appointment as the number starts as early as 730am. there i was, 715am aiming for number 0001. and yes! i got it! wooohooo. must be my lucky day. doctor arrived, nurse called us in and the doctor said, everything is perfectly fine with both of you. no blockage within the tube, sperm count is healthy and let's check on eggs. so i went to the ultrasound machine room, she checked the eggs and again it was perfectly fine.  i was puzzled is there is nothing wrong, why am i still not pregnant? kept asking myself. so i guess it must be the retroverted uterus. can't stop myself my blurting it out, i asked the doctor 'so is it because of the retroverted uterus?' and she said, no that happens to most of the patient i see and they can still conceive. again, puzzled! she obviously is able to read my puzzled, whathef*&k face. that's when she said she will give m

a hysterosalpingogram, or better known as HSG is a twisted painful procedure i must say! no matter what others tell you, it was uncomfortable and mostly painful. it was mainly because of the speculum! what actually happens was, the radiologist injected some of kind of a dye inside your vajajay. you will be able to see in the monitor which in this case, was on my left side. you will see the dye flow through your uterus and thereafter your Fallopian tube. this test will indicate if there is a blockage in your tube that leads to difficulties to conceive. once the radiologist injected the dye in your vajajay, another x-ray machine (something similar) will be pressed on top of your tummy. this act as an x-ray film that will able for a photo of your tube to be captured. in my case, the radiologist said it was perfectly fine and track was smooth as the runway. the only thing they found from the test is my uterus is severely retroverted which means its some sort of hidden at the back (

3 years married and we finally decided to have a check on why nothing is baking in this oven if me ;)  i made an appointment with of course the best doctor in Subang, Dr. Siti from SJMC.  she asked us a lot of questions that i don't even know how to answer. weird difficult question, i must say. then she checked me, which is much more weird than i thought. it doesn't hurt as much as i thought it was just uncomfortable.  she decided that i should first check my Fallopian tube, just in case it is blocked. oh, of course sperm test! so we made appointment for a Fallopian tube check which is HSG (i don't remember the full name). so, HSG test coming tomorrow! till then.