storing sunny and cloudy memories

just to the clear the air.. since ive been receiving some feedback about how depressing my blog is :D im not depressed, nor that im suicidal my old friend thinks im suicidal my best friend thinks im depressed my workmate thinks im emo hehehhehehe reading from the blog, i MIGHT have sound a little gila. but in actual fact, i am not depress. i was sad, confused, consumed with guilt but all of that did not lead me into depression or killing myself. im sure everyone will experience this once in their lifetime. hmm..i guess its just a phase. or maybe poyo terlebih. hahahahah! im okay now.. happier than yesterday and the day before yesterday. ill be happier tomorrow! my friends underwater waiting for me :) Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

this morning started off well woke up half past five i made coffee this morning! im so happy thanks to the new beans i bought from Bangsar last week had peanut butter toast had a good compact meaningful conversation while driving. arrived an hour early at work which gave me good amount of time to go and pay my phone bill. so far, so good :) few more days to end of July can't wait for August actually i can't wait for next year! im gonna travel to Europe. have to start planning now because there is a high chance ill be travelling alone. unless magically someone wants to tag along. im going to do 5 countries. wooww! my big plans for next year.. travel travel travel arrrrrrround the world i hope i still have time to travel :) Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

i was happily epilating my leg a while ago when i spotted one of my many ugly scars. it was from a diving exam i had to do two years back. i was rushing to the pool and i scraped my calf on the edge of the pool. didn't realise it was bleeding, i continued swimming. much later, when i was having my post-exam brief that i felt the stinging pain. it was painful, but bearable. thanks to magic gamat, wound healed and the five inch long scar stayed with me. people often say "time heals all wounds" others say "time heals all wounds but the scars stay with us forever" some say "scars are not meant to be hidden, they are proof of the journey" these scars i have, they are proof of my twenty five years journey in life. some scars are sweet, some are bitter, some are painful, and some you can't even see it. be it a small scar i have at the corner of my right eye to the big one i have on my leg or the scars that no one can see. every scar reminds me of a journe

yes? no? maybe?

when i was 13 you were shorter than me but i still liked you. i didn't know anything about love at that age. but i knew we were going to share our friendship and grow old together as friends. you taught me to like a person despite their physical appearance. you taught me to see a person for who he/she is. when i was 14 you were the first Chinese guy i liked. we had our memories. i don't remember anymore. erk! i remembered you gave me Christmas present. you didn't like that i smoke cos you didn't smoke. i'll probably say hi to you if we happen to stumble upon each other. you taught me to be myself and to love myself for who i am. you taught me to put my religion first before any guy. where do i start with you? i was 14, you were 15 you and i started knowing each other through internet. it was those chatting days, cyber cafe days. you taught me to sacrifice and do anything for a relationship. you taught me to give all that i have for a relationship. probably i gave ev

these past few months, i've been really scared about one thing: death i kept having visions that i'll die young, before i can repent. sometimes i wake up in the middle of sleep because i'm scared if i sleep, i won't wake up. i'm also scared that i'll just get a heart attack and die. or while driving, a lorry or bus came out of nowhere and hit me. there are so many things on my mind and it scares me all the time. i'm scared if i die tomorrow, i wouldn't have the chance to say sorry or good byes. in case if i die young, i would like to say sorry to those i've hurt intentionally or unintentionally. to the girls, thank you very much for everything. only God can repay whatever you've done to help me. no words or money can describe how much i owe you guys. to my family members, im sorry. im sorry if i disappoint you. im sorry if i say the wrong things and hurt your feelings. thank you for not disowned me. hhahahaha! thank you for everything! ive tried

after lunch, i was walking back to office when i saw you you were with your friends walking behind me cut everything short, i saw your name from your tag. i was hoping you would wear your tag so that i know your name. now i know your name! :)

it's just coffee, or probably dinner. it's not like he asked me on a date or what. i think i should stop giving silly excuses and just go for it. what am i so afraid of? seriously?! i should just go for it, right? is it worth a try? so many questions with no answers. i feel like slapping myself with those gladiator shoes in the picture. hahahhhahaa! i might just. i should probably be more spontaneous and dive into it. then, see what happens. we'll see how it goes tomorrow. good night! xoxo kecoh girl

my immunity necklace & $10 top from Bugis (menyesal tak beli semua color) good morning! im blogging while walking to San Francisco coffee to get my regular low fat latte. hooray! i look forward to the day i get out of bed and not think of you.. Sent via BlackBerry from Maxis

last weekend we went melaka! had nyonya laksa, cendol, ngok ngek food on jonker walk and a famosa. we had fun! :) as i'm uploading pictures here, i'm reading ZodiacFacts on twitter i'm telling you sometimes it's so true it scares the shit out of me! July 19th tweets..scary shit wei! how could they know? could it just be a coincidence? whatever..

i wish i could just do nothing but read books and listen to good music, by the beach away from here.

this is it.....

this week, we seem to bump into each other. escalator, lift, and sometimes at the lobby. yesterday you were wearing light blue shirt, dark blue tie and you rolled up your sleeve line to your elbow. if only the lift had not been full, you would be standing in front of me. this morning, you were in white shirt and brown tie. you were next to me at the entrance gate. then you went to the even-numbered lift, i had to go to the odd-numbered lift. you kinda look like a chinese guy but yesterday you were at the surau, so obviously you're not. you're tall! and your office is located somewhere in this tower, even-numbered floor. that's all i know about you. hope we bump into each other later. teeheee ;)

that was my weekend johor, huamui mee for khafidha and sheffer. i had butter chicken with rice. gulp! sedapppppp :) singapore, retail theraphy. as usual, whatever money i had prepared before the trip wasn't enough for me. luckily got anz atm machine, so i took out my aussie savings ;) naughty naughty. bugis market was fun although no trying, no refund and no exchange. cotton on sale, $5 top and $15 shoe. old chang kee and claypot beef rice tip top! driving was Alhamdulillah smooth and fun. it was a good trip. i love it!

Libra The symbol associated with your sign is the scales of balance representing the balance that you continually seek in your self and your life. The scales were also adopted by our judicial system to symbolize a balance of fairness in the law which is emphasized by 'blind justice' holding them. libra traits.. Diplomaitic and urbane Romantic and charming Easygoing and sociable Idealistic and peaceable on the dark side.. Indecisive and changeable Gullible and easily infuenced Flirtatious and self-indulgent some of the traits about librans that i found... Librans are sensitive to the needs of others and have the gift, sometimes to an almost psychic extent, of understanding the emotional needs of their companions and meeting them with their own innate optimism. They are very social human beings. They loathe cruelty, viciousness and vulgarity and detest conflict between people, so they do their best to cooperate and compromise with everyone around them, and th

do you know? i don't. have you ever felt it before? i have. have you ever wonder why? all the time. do you? i do.

It was sensational, an historic moment for Spanish football. We're not aware of what we've done. We will after some time. It's what we've wanted since we were little. It's a special moment, much more moving than the European championship... It wasn't easy but with luck we managed to win." - Goalkeeper Iker Casillas referring to my post June 11th , the world cup fever has finally come to an end. i'm going to miss the busy nights at old town, the vuvuzela sound and of course iker casillas. most of the teams i was cheering for this year wrapped up at the earlier stage. France and Brazil to be precise. Spain is my favourite among the three but when i heard they were going against Germany, i backed off. luckily Spain won and brought them to the final. and yesterday, they won the world cup title. woot woot! not going to talk so much on world cup because i'm not a freaking huge fan of football, since i slept at 75th minute and dreamt that Spa

i am blogging not from Malaysia, but from Singapore. wooohhoo! we arrived yesterday noon and rushed to get my yoga mat, waited for cab for almost 1 hour and went shopping at bugis street. everything was cheap! but obviously no trying, no refund and their tops are for those size 10 and below. as for me, shoes at far east are the ones i look forward the most. i managed to get 3 pairs yesterday :) dinner was hilarious! i spilled my longan drink and the restaurant went silent and everyone stared at me. so embarrassing! eeeeee! later at night we went to loof bar, so pretty the place! ill upload the pics when i get back! today woke up because i wanted my dream to end. my dream was sad. everyone was in my dream. the girls, you, her and me. some said you can't tell others about your dream the first 3 days. so i won't tell but after 3 days, maybe i will. i didn't know what was the meaning of my dream. how i wish i knew. i wish i knew how to make things right. whatever it is, you we

last weekend, me and my sisters went for breakfast with my parents. it was early morning and it rained while we were having our breakfast. after breakfast my mom forced me to go to the market with her. of course me and my sister aimie had to go. but kuanne being a diva sister didn't want to go to the market. pfftt! she said the market is smelly and basah. like duh! that's why it is called market. hahahhaha. whatever.. i cannot wait for tomorrow! in 5 hours time, ill be driving south where i can shop like a crazy girl, eat claypot beef fried rice and party til the dawn. yea right party? hahahahha probably ill be too tired to even go out at night. i just hope everything turns out well, insyaAllah. ill have to constantly remind myself not to go to the red lane, don't say something stupid to the immigration guy and don't panic. teeehee! goodnight! see you tomorrow :)

i cannot wait for friday to come! there are so many things lining up for july i can't fit everything in my small red organizer. remind me to get a bigger organizer next time. teeehee! this week will be tight with work, eclipse and holiday. woohhhooo! i always get over excited when it comes to holiday but i don't like the packing, changing money, and waking up extra early for the trip. as usual, our annual trip will start as early as 6am. so, the thought of waking up at 530am scares a hell out of me. despite all that, im all excited and i hope tomorrow is friday. i really need this holiday. actually i need a permanent holiday! ill go to a remote island, no internet or phone. no distraction, no headache, heartache, stomach ache, smue ache lah! how i wish..

Prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wa-sallam) said: "From the prosperity of an individual is his seeking guidance from his Lord and his contentment with what He has ordained and from the misfortune of an individual is his abandoning seeking guidance from his Lord and his displeasure after what is decreed (for him) comes to pass" [Saheeh at-Tirmidhee, Ahmad, al-Haakim and other] Here, the slave of Allah requests His Lord to make Him content with His choice by His Power, Ability and Immense Favor, since, the slave’s ability is from the Ability and Power of Allah, otherwise he is weak. Making matters easy is from the Ability of Allah and the Great Favor from Him that He has bestowed upon His slaves, if He doesn’t make things easy for His slave, they will turn difficult and he may dislike what Allah chooses for him, unaware of the good that is placed in it for him. So, he requests Allah from His immense Favor keeping in view the following statement of Allah: "And it may be

warning: events below are fiction (they are not factual, but rather, imaginary and invented by its author) if you can't handle it, x your window or apple q your macbook. i didn't know as i age, everything in life gets tougher. work especially, relationship, family and understanding myself gets even confusing. it gets more complicated, difficult and painful as you age. not only i'll get more wrinkles..my boobs will sag eventually. not only i have to fight the gravity for my skin, i constantly need to fight gravity of my heart. unlike skin, there are plenty of cream for anti-aging skin, anti-wrinkle serum over-the-counter i only wish there is anti-wrinkle cream for the heart. they have gaviscon for heartburn, they don't have gaviscon for heartache. pfftt! have you ever felt pain that words can't even describe? you don't even know it hurts because you can't feel anymore. it's so painful it sticks in you, follows you like a shadow. you know the difference be