storing sunny and cloudy memories

2009 has been a great year. looking forward to 2010! yyiiipppiiiiiee!!

i miss my bernama and reuters buddy. so lama never see him. blogging from : my mobile

bahahahhaa! i know..i know.. raya haji is just next week, and yes these pictures are from raya aidilfitri. it was in draft form since 24/9/09. that proves how busy i was. work is taking a lot of my time, and farmville. oh, fishville too! i'm glad i still make an effort to exercise at least 3 times a week. november was good, i hope december will be better. i know it's going to be better! can't wait to shop and partay partay with my bitches :)

all-time favourite pictures. loves it! what do i want my nieces and nephews to call me? my mom and dad, tok cu and tok ku. yana and ashraf, mami and mamu. sheffer and khafidha, nda sheffer and tante khafidha. me?

thanks dzu + ifzan for the pics :) being the eldest comes with extra responsibilities. my shoulders, head and heart can't take this burden anymore. beneath the smiley faces and laughter, i think im not well. everyone has a deep dark secret, don't they? i do.

they say at the end of every tunnel, there is a bright light but what can i say, i'm stuck in the middle of the tunnel and the bright light is no where near. for some, things happen spontaneously. how lucky! personally, i love surprises and when things turn out differently. to a certain extend, i like when things are well-planned and organised. because i definitely do not like chaos. things work in a weird way that you would never realise or expect that it would. something that you hate so much, you will eventually love it. things that you don't plan to do or you refuse to do it, turn out to be the happiest night. i just love the post mortem part of every fortunate or unfortunate series of events! the giggling and laughing while you reflect back of what had happen at that point of time. i had fun during the post mortem session! i like to explore the feeling of it, the new things you learn about the new person. because the feeling can be overwhelming at times. every single detai

semenjak hari semalam, kehidupanku tidak berapa menarik kerana awal pagi dah terpaksa bangun. awal pagi yg dimaksudkan ialah 530 pagi. sejejaknya di pejabat jam 8 pagi, masa berjalan bagaikan kura kura. di akhir hari pertama, kesesakan lalu lintas di lebuhraya memeningkan kepala dan menaikkan kemarahan yang membuak. perjalanan mengambil masa 1 jam 25 minit. bingung! semalam sudah berlalu, mudah mudahan hari ni membawa kebahagiaan. masih awal untuk mengatakannya. kita tunggu dan lihat. hahahahhahaha! ewww. an attempt to blog in bahasa novel. i feel like i'm in cerekarama. pppfftt! work work work.

exam is going to be over in three days. im so the very very excited. after friday, life is going to be kecoh and fun at the same time! i get to shop til i drop, and pack to go back. my last minute shopping list: 1. supre t-shirt for khafidha 2. bic lighters for yana 3. snacks, chocolates and junk foods for sheffer 4. work pants 5. tan shoes 6. jeans 7. supre t-shirt for myself 8. souvenirs for mamatok and papatok 9. t-shirt australia for lilis 10. macam macam lagi my last minute food or coffee: 1. brother baba budan coffee 2. cinnamon doughnuts 3. don don 4. kanpai what else should i do before i leave? omg! 3 more days.. hurry hurry curry curry furry furry!

i did not expect my friday would be a freaky one. not that i transform into my mom or what. half of friday was annoying, and the other half was freaky. ill be going back next month, yes! one month from now. hmm..one more month. since i have to start working somewhere in august, they are now starting to give me options on where i wanna be placed in august. im happy enough that i get to choose what i want to do, and on top of that i have four options to choose from. among the four options, i looked forward to this particular one. but this one is against my values and principle. i was asked a question and i have to make a decision there and then. the question sounded something like this.. 'do you drink? are you willing to drink and socialise with your clients? because you'll be taking care of US market, so it is a plus point if you drink'. i never thought that they would actually have this kinda 'screening of employees' procedures. since when did they look for girls wh

my laptop went kaput! kacing! and kaput! with no signal that it was going to die no sign or sickness or anything all of a sudden, she was not functioning at all. she literally died, on my lap. and so, i brought her to the hospital today hoping that i could recover all my data. i don't really care what happens to her body, all i need is her brain. because her brain is my brain. i don't function without my hard disk. its like, she suddenly was diagnosed with brain tumor. and the doctors can fix her, except to get her a new brain. yes, i know that could be done. all i have to do is pay $200 and i'll get her a new brain. but i need her old brain! that would cost up to $1500. that is my fucking life! my two years of everything is in her brain and i need it! fuuccckkkk!!

remember this picture? i found it somewhere in the virtual world.. haaahahahha.. happy birthday yana! have fun and tarakucaca!

mother: x tido lag ??? buat assignmt k? me: tak la mother: ek elehhhh me: baru balik dari jalan2 mother: ish ish ish.... jalan 2 kat mana ??? me: jalan jalan city mother: dgn mata biru ?? rambut blonde ?? me: hahahah tak...mata hitam gemok bulat! hahahaha cuba teka siapa mother: mata hitam gemok.... hmmmm ...........nono ?? ape la kuna ni... kesian dia....tak baik tau !! she 'ek elehhhh' me! i cannot believe she actually ek elehhh-ed me.. im going to find for her a blue-eye blonde dude and surprise her at the airport. hahahhahahahahhaha

dear girls, have i mentioned to you guys how much i love the in case bag? well, i love the in case bag to death. it's the best gift ever! what have i used from the in case bag? 1. pins. because my shirts keep on menayangkan anggota badan di celah celah. so i used the pins to cover it. 2. powder because i thread my eyebrow myself, so i used the powder before threading. 3. alarm clock because i cannot wake up to class. 4. melbourne map i think i used it for only 2 weeks until hancur already now. 5. engraved pen i used it to sign important documents, nampak professional konon. 6. sewing kit to thread my eyebrow. hahahahah not jahit baju or anything. 7. shower cap i use it everyday so that my hair won't get wet. those are some of the items that i've used so far. yesterday, i was in uni about to go back home. mind you, it was 10pm, and i was in uni since 10am. i was tired i supposed, i missed a step on the stairs and sprain my ankle. when i got home, i first thing i look for is

so yeaaa..its friday already. wowww! so fast time flies when you're busy. i didn't even realise that it's already friday. been working like a dog this whole week. even dogs don't have to do assignments and reports. today is friday, and since next week is the ultimate week (due date) for all subjects. we had a graduate gathering session after class. i had two cranberry juice, a coke and some finger foods. as i was walking towards the train station, i felt something was wrong. i was feeling dizzy for a while, then i started feeling nausea. as soon as i was in train i hard breathing difficulty. i was gasping for air desperately and my head was spinning like the spinning cup in sunway lagoon. i was also sweating all of a sudden. in my head, i was thinking of the food i ate. probably they have minty thingy inside that i didn't realise. i felt like fainting when i reached richmond station, but i had two more stops. so i was reciting doa as i thought i was going to die in

winter is early this year.. it is sooooo freaking sejuk, tak kelakar dah. blurgh! crassssssyy! i miss angin bayu bali, panas panas peluh bertitik titik. now is a good time to eat curry pedas pedas. yummmm.. ok this video superkelakar sakit perut tergelak gelak.. hahahahhahahahhahaha. omg!

bali was superawesome! i cannot even describe how awesome bali was. this is by far the best holiday trip i've ever had. i miss kudeta beach. i miss bali. i miss everything about Bali, even the nyamuk that disturbs me at night. the short break journey to Malaysia from Bali before Melbourne was difficult. Malaysia is my home country that i love dearly, but money politics? urrgh! with the recent party election chaos, everyone starts blaming each other. why don't you people out there step up and just freaking tell the truth of what happened?! i think no one wants to come upfront and tell the truth because they have been fed by the blackberry. pfft! money politics should stop the day i was born. i hope happy people of Malaysia open up their mouth and tell the truth for once, for your country. i'm not saying this to put him down, because i love daging salai and rembau. but this has to stop, it is wrong! stop giving out blackberry or money. hhmm.. pls keep one for me :) hahaha! ju

now like gila krik krik! i hate this, i hate this! woke up at 630am, snooze. then, 7am, snooze again. then, 730am, okay time to shower. i was ready by 8am as the electrician and owner is coming to fix the aircond today at 8am. due to bad traffic and raining, they arrived at 9am. they went through everything in the house to get a good spot to fix the aircond. finally got one. called the other two boys, the fixer to come. they came and godek godek the house now. they are going to be here all day, which i don't mind at all. hahahha. but i don't like the krik krik moment. i don't know what to do, where to go. now i'm inside my room. sitting at one corner, pretending to be busy with work. hehhehe. way to escape i guess. they'll be here all day, which means i don't have a life. they also cut the power cos they need to drill the wall. which also means, i can't use the internet and computer in few minutes time. laptop battery life 13%, hand phone battery, low. i'

20 years down the road, ill probably remember today the most. the day i freaked out on everything in life. the uncertainty of life, where i am, where i'll be. i freaked out on almost everything. freaked out, scared, whatever it means. i think everything that happens up to this moment has its own reason. everything happens for a reason, that's what i've been hearing from others. it surely does for me. today, it hit me like the tsunami, unexpected. i'm not ready to cross that line. i'm not fit to be in that zone. i am just not fit. just. what is freaking me out? a. marriage b. being pregnant c. raising children of my own d. all of the above the correct answer is: d. everything freaks me out. haahhahahahha. now im laughing at myself because im thinking nonsense. i think things that are happening around me made me think this way. external factors. i see it around me everyday and it freaks me out even more. probably other people would think otherwise when they see what i

this time, last year i was in chiang mai, Thailand. naik basikal round round go coffee. i find it difficult to ride a bicycle after few years tak kayuh. i remembered how stupid i was trying to langgar everyone. and paling classic, muka sheffer nak langgar pakcik tua. this year, i'm in Melbourne. naik tram, naik train. no big deal. nothing to laugh about or tragic about it. hope so lah, since i'm still at home. i'll be going to my cousin's place for dinner. hopefully nothing tragic or funny happens in the train. next year, where will i be? maybe i should go back to chiang mai. naik basikal lagi, jalan2 minum kopi, tom yam kung. or maybe somewhere else, Philippine ke. maybe everytime this year i should go somewhere. maybe baby!

'sometimes you just have to jump' that was his answer when i asked for his advice. i guess i should just jump and see where i land. but the financial crisis will go on for about 2-3 years.. and if jump and land 6 feet under, bungkus jer lah! although he did mention to have a good parachute before i jump.. ah, hell with parachute. just jump! oh well, tak cuba tak tau kan?

being an adult means that you have to make your own decision and bare with the consequences of the decision. the older i get, the tougher the decisions i have to make. i wish i could just turn back time and be 7 years old forever. i certainly didn't have to make decision at that age. i am fickle, indecisive, difficult and stubborn. i can't make a stupid decision myself. i can't decide if i want a black handbag or a tan handbag, i ended up buying both. i can't decide what to wear in the morning, i ended up taking the one on top. in the train, i can't decide to sit left or right, i ended up standing the whole trip. during my class break, i can't decide if i wanna use the elevator or take the stairs, i ended up taking the stairs and spill coffee all over myself on the way down. then, i can't decide if i wanna cook chicken or lamb, i defrosted chicken, then 3 minutes later, i defrosted lamb and few minutes afterward, i decided to cook chicken. i can go on and on

today i finally did what i wanted to do for last few months. so, i have this so called 'tabung xx'. savings for the day that might not come. sheffer and khafidha laughed over my tabung xx. well, after much thinking about the tabung and calculations here and there. i used up the money to give others in need. i've been dying to it since january, today i finally did. Kiva , a non-profit that allows you to lend as little as $25 to a specific low-income entrepreneur in the developing world. You choose who to lend to - whether a baker in Afghanistan, a goat herder in Uganda, a farmer in Peru, a restaurateur in Cambodia, or a tailor in Iraq - and as they repay their loan, you get your money back. It’s a powerful and sustainable way to empower someone right now to lift themselves out of poverty. i'm trying to find more channels to distribute my savings. any idea feel free to comment. human rights organisation?

today, i did something bad. bad kuna, bad kuna! 4 days ago, i bought a book. since my classes are not that stressful yet, i managed to finish it. today, i went to the shop and told them that this was a gift to a friend but my friend didn't like it, so i want to exchange it with something else. so, i took another book which i liked and exchange it. i feel so bad! hahahhahaha plus, i exchanged with a cheaper book so that they refund me the difference. muahahahahha. GUILTYNYAAAAAA!! that's a big-g! GUILTY! another thing, this week is my first week of class. i'm still on holiday mood. during the lectures, all i did was day dream. i barely listen or concentrate to what they were saying. i keep on thinking about my dream house. hahahahaha. weird much! as if i have one. i sketched it on my notebook. i can't concentrate in class. all i can think of is how nice my dream house would look like. the flooring, the walls, the lights, toilets, kitchen (of course), my walk in wardrobe!

in a different life, i would like to have victory ford's multibillionaire boyfriend, nico riley's editor-in-chief career and wendy healy's apartment. if only i can have that sort of life, only for a day. reality check. my apartment is nothing like wendy healy's, my career is nowhere like nico riley's, and multibillionaire boyfriend? LOL. i think watching tv, movie or series too much is not healthy. i slept late watching dvds and series. got back from class, watched series again, 10 episodes straight. i love my life now. laze around, curl up in my blanket for hours in front of the tv :)

i was just wondering.. 1. how could a mother abuse her own children after 9 months of pregnancy journey? 2. how could a pedophile become a pedophile? 3. how could a grandfather rape their own granddaughters? 4. how could a mother leave her own child at a stranger's doorstep? 5. how could a mother be pregnant just to have her daughter's organ? i don't understand how these things could happen. are they stupid, insane, sick in the head or all of it? oh well, i've been watching tv a lot nowadays. hissshhhh! geramnyaaaaa kat orang orang gila ni! i hope these people rot to death in prison.

few days ago i was thinking of our old blog but i couldn't figure out which one it was. there's blurty, there's livejournal, and then multiply. i thought it was blurty but nah! i was wrong, it was definitely multiply. we had so much fun updating our blogs, pictures and videos. yana even recorded her 'hari raya pesanan'. i had fun browsing through our old pics. massiiiiivee yooo! so funny wei, i post up only the best! wanna know what we look like 4 years ago? june 2005: tara's 1st birthday party january 2006: first and the last surfing at sunway lagoon january 2006: 1st hari raya haji at yana's new house april 2006: klia, sending yana back to melbourne waiting outside kedai game, TFR full. khafidha begging, pleasseeeeee kuna Malaysia's Next Top Model!