i need a time machine

i wish i have a time machine that could deport me years ago where i am more happy as a person.
life was much more easier back then.
i'm not saying that i'm not happy now.
but i was much happier back then.
life was pretty much stress-free.
except when i'm broke.
i wasn't working in this giant building.
i could skip classes without effecting my pocket.
we were all friends and loved each other.
everything was in place, but i guess i took it for granted.

now, i wake up from bed when it's still dark.
face the damn traffic early morning to get to this giant building.
couldn't skip work eventhough the rain makes it better to just sleep in.
every single move at work is being watched by the damn cctv.
friends are divided because some took sides, while some is just indenial that we are no longer good friends like we used to.
having said that, i'm still glad that i have my girls with me through thick and thin.
if it was not for them, i would have not come back up from this fuckedd up disastrous fall.
everything is out of place.

they say it doesn't matter how deep you fall, it's how you get yourself back up that matters.
bla bla blaa...ya yaaaa!
easier said than done, i've been struggling to get myself back up.
one day you're at the top, one day you're down at the bottom.
top to bottom rushed with just a blink, i can't even breathe.
then i'll get myself back up, then it's back to square one.
when will this rollercoaster ride ends?
i have no clue. do you know when?