post accident trauma

have you even been in an accident?
i have not. Alhamdulillah!

the only traumatic accident experience i had was few years back.
i was driving and a stone hit the left side window and smashed my window into pieces.
ever since, i was scared if i see the guy with high-tech machine mowing lawn by the roadside. that was probably the only traumatic experience i've ever encountered.

yesterday i was talking to my friend over a set-up lunch date between me and this handsome guy.
the lunch went well, the guy is good looking and has a british accent.
over lunch, i was asking my friend why is she not moving on with her life and let go of her past relationship?
and her answer was 'scared' a.k.a post accident trauma.
she is scared that everything will be the same and she couldn't bear the pain.
so she's holding back from this guy who treats her like princess.
sacrifices his time, ego and pride just for her.
but she keeps testing him to prove that every guy is the same.
she doesn't want to open up to this guy just because she had a bad relationship before this.
put that aside, i'm proud of her for at least trying to give this guy a chance.
she does go out with this guy. i know she likes that guy but she's just scared of opening up to that guy. scared to even admit she likes him.
so, this guy i went out for lunch. he's good looking, smart and tall.
he is also suffering from this post accident trauma.
he's funny, friendly and smart but he sounded bitter.
i've only known him for probably 20 minutes or so.
but i could sense his bitterness vibe.
he probably had a bad relationship also.
he categorise women in a certain category and generalises them.
so i reckon he has not moved on because he was happily laughing
or probably he has moved on, but he is just 'scared'.
scared of being hurt again.

aren't we all scared? i am.
sometimes i don't even know what i should or should not do.
right or wrong is rather blur at the moment.
i make decisions based on my gut feelings and instinct.
we are constantly shadowed by the accidents that we have experienced.
all i know now, i need to be more open-minded, and not too picky.
be myself and take risk in life.
life is too short to waste it.
make more friends and travel more.
hopefully things will fall into places.

gotta go back to work..
:)