the story of my lunatic abusive dysfunctional adopted family

stressful day at work? yes!
wanted to punch someone's face? yes!
gonna bitch about work? yes!
can't stand to read it? f^%k off!
i'm warning you, it's lengthy..

the story goes like this...

i have been living with my adopted family for the past 3 years.
(you must be thinking..since when she was adopted? read on...)
i was only 22 years old when i got adopted to this family.
7 months to my 23rd birthday.
that was 1st of March 2007.
i'm on a 8 years contract.
i didn't have a choice at that time.
like it or not, my adoption period ends in 2015.

like any usual family, you will be very happy for the first few months.
when you start to know each other well, you start to realise differences you have in opinion or how to do things.
next thing you know, you argue.
then you make peace again.
you compromise.
you argue, you make peace.
that's life, that's family.

mine was different.
first few months, rainbow and sunshine.
after 6-9 months, i was already bored with the routine work.
mind you, i am a person (according to recent personality test and many many other tests) who can't stand routine work.
i get bored easily!
so after 9 months, i was demotivated.
can't stand it but still had to go on with my life.
after 15 months, i took 1 year break.
was really happy during that 1 year break.
learned new things, experience a whole different world and culture.
after 1 year, i decided to go back to my awful adopted family.
i couldn't get away because i wasn't sure if i could ever get a new adopted family if i were to leave them.
i signed the damn contract anyhow.
so if i were to file for a seperation, there's penalty, charges and so much hassle that i couldn't be bothered.

when i came back, i got transfered to a new adopted family.
i thought they were nice, they were not!
they're abusive!
i didn't know even know that these people could be mentally and verbally abusive.
it was only after 5 months that i realised i was in an abusive family.
i've heard from others that these people could be very abusive.
but i never liked to hear rumors, so i braved myself into this family.
i didn't know what i was getting myself into.
about 4 months ago, it got worst.
it started to become a mental game.
mentally abuse was their main goal.
it was a good strategy, i must say.
didn't see it coming.
he no longer use harsh words or shout from the very corner til all neighborhood can hear.

the mental game started as soon as i got back from my sinusitis and tonsil surgery.
it was all pure mentally abuse, political game with a pinch of backstabbing.
of course, when political game gets involve you need a pinch of backstabbing like you need to a pinch of salt to make your dish better.
occasionally, there will be verbal abuse.
words like 'bodoh, bangang, beruk, pukimak, cibai...' just to name a few.
like any other abusive family, you just keep quiet.
that is what i do.
the moment you speak your mind, you're gonna get even worst.
so better shut up and just agree to it.
lucky thing, i was never physically abused.

there was once he said 'kau ni mmg bodoh ke? bodohhh! mmg bodoh?'
i stood there with my expressionless face and agreed to it. 'yerrrr..mmg bodoh'
voila! settle!
the more i argue, the more tense the argument became.
then things will start to fly here and there.
you definitely don't want to see things flying out of his room.

from time to time, your adopted brothers and sisters will backstab you.
that is their mental abusive game.
eldest brother will start to talk bad about you to dad.
dad will not talk to you for weeks.
eldest brother spread rumors to neibourhood about you.
telling other families that i am stubborn.
yes i am stubborn, i can admit that. so?
he will give extra chores for you to do, just because he can't stand looking at you happy laughing playing with your neighbours.
watch every of my movement. what time do i come back home, where did i go if i were missing for 5 minutes.
he would report everything to dad.
he is basically a cctv.
he's also close to dad, so i can't really defend myself because i'm the youngest in the family.
obviously he won't listen to me.

i like my other 2 brothers.
they're very very nice to me.
they protect me in such a way i feel comfortable.
i talk to them and pour out my concerns.
they make me laugh and make me forget my problems.
they motivate me to make me stronger.
they try to help me the very best that they could.
but sometimes they just can't and i have to be independent.
both of them are nice, i don't know what i'd do without them.

the three big brothers basically controls the whole family.
the rest are just adopted brothers and sisters.
they're also very nice to me.
we laugh and have fun together.
they buy me lunch and dinner.
occasionally the sisters piss me off and backstabbed me.
but they're not my biggest problem.
elder sister is also the favourite.
whatever she say or wants, she'll get it.
another sister gets worse treatment than i do.
but she's on a 1 year contract.
so she can leave by end of this year.

it has been 1 year and 22 days since i've been adopted.
i have never felt so low in my life than this phase i'm going through.
it is eating my soul, heart and brain out like a bullet train.
i look in the mirror and see fine lines, wrinkles, dark under circle and i blame this family for that.

thank god i still have my adopted grandfather.
he is super super nice.
he's also adopted, like me!
i was adopted to this new family in July, he was adopted in January.
he came from a different family.
rich, poise, sophisticated family lives in the Hamptons.
like the Van Der Woodsen or Archibald
we would catch up from time to time.
i can be totally honest with him and tell him what's going on with my own family.
he gives constructive feedback, advises and motivation.
he'll support my decision no matter what, in a professional way.
i thank him for that.

i complain complain and complain to my friends, my biological parents but still i don't know what to do.
i can't leave because of my contract.
i also don't want to leave because i'm afraid that i won't get another family.
my biological family do not give me money anymore.
my adopted family will!
if i do as they say and behave well, they will give me money.
they give a lot of money compared to the other family.
which is also one of the reason why im still where i am.
another reason would be the environment where we lived.
nice neighborhood, friendly hot neighbors..
my neighbors are pretty laidback and easy-going people.
some of them are jokers! i can pee in my pants laughing at their jokes.
the environment outside my family is what i like.

today was by far the most stressful day i had with this lunatic abusive dysfunctional family.
i can't even describe it.
the moment he walked in, he yelled, shouted at the neighbors.
it's very stressful to hear all the yelling. eeeeee!
i don't know why!! why do you have to yell and shout?
i can get brain tumor from all this. hish!

i'm giving myself til end of this year.
if things are not going to change, i'm walking out.
contract no contract!
i don't give a flying f#&k

that's the story for today
that is my lunatic abusive dysfunctional adopted family.
i only see them Monday - Friday, from 830am - 530pm
Ramadhan, 8am-4pm only.
Alhamdulillah!
may Allah SWT give me the strength to face them everyday.
Ameen!

disclaimer: the story above is my opinion and my observation. it's not right or wrong, it's my story my interpretation.