death : part 1

these past few months, i've been really scared about one thing: death
i kept having visions that i'll die young, before i can repent.
sometimes i wake up in the middle of sleep because i'm scared if i sleep, i won't wake up.
i'm also scared that i'll just get a heart attack and die.
or while driving, a lorry or bus came out of nowhere and hit me.
there are so many things on my mind and it scares me all the time.
i'm scared if i die tomorrow, i wouldn't have the chance to say sorry or good byes.

in case if i die young,
i would like to say sorry to those i've hurt intentionally or unintentionally.
to the girls, thank you very much for everything.
only God can repay whatever you've done to help me.
no words or money can describe how much i owe you guys.
to my family members, im sorry.
im sorry if i disappoint you.
im sorry if i say the wrong things and hurt your feelings.
thank you for not disowned me. hhahahaha!
thank you for everything!
ive tried my best to become a good daughter and sister.
somehow i knew i haven't fulfilled that yet.

i don't know what else to say, except for thank you and i'm sorry.

to be continued...