death : part 2

when i was 13 you were shorter than me but i still liked you.
i didn't know anything about love at that age.
but i knew we were going to share our friendship and grow old together as friends.
you taught me to like a person despite their physical appearance.
you taught me to see a person for who he/she is.

when i was 14 you were the first Chinese guy i liked.
we had our memories.
i don't remember anymore. erk!
i remembered you gave me Christmas present.
you didn't like that i smoke cos you didn't smoke.
i'll probably say hi to you if we happen to stumble upon each other.
you taught me to be myself and to love myself for who i am.
you taught me to put my religion first before any guy.

where do i start with you?
i was 14, you were 15
you and i started knowing each other through internet.
it was those chatting days, cyber cafe days.
you taught me to sacrifice and do anything for a relationship.
you taught me to give all that i have for a relationship.
probably i gave everything to you, that's why i was left with nothing when you cheated on me.
you cheated on me with few girls, btw.
you were the reason i didn't like guys who drinks or do drugs.
because i had to take care of you and your vomit when you were drunk.
you taught me to find a good man who does not do drugs or drinks.

you came in between me and your good friend.
you were supposed to help your friend.
you were supposed to be the messenger boy
but i guess we found each other.
you were my classmate, my studymate and my bestmate.
you helped me through rainy and sunny days.
you made me laugh day and night.
you were the last person on earth i thought i would fall for but i did.
you were the person i could tell anything and everything, you would understand.
you would do anything for me.
you also took me for granted when you were comfortable.
i guess i too was comfortable, and i fell out of it.
it was no one's fault.
i fell out of it and i didn't want to lie to you or to myself anymore.
it was a difficult thing to do but i had to do it.
then you changed.
you used to be my bestfriend, now i'm a stranger to you.
you used to be a happy guy, now you're just an angry sad person.
you used to hate those who drinks or do drugs, now you're one of them.
you proudly held your glass up high and toast with joy thinking that all your problems would go away. bravo to you!
i used to blame myself because i thought i led you to that.
but no! enough of that.
you did it to yourself. it wasn't my fault.
you chose to go that path.
i'm disappointed.
but then again, who am i? i'm nobody.
you taught me everything from right and wrong.
but now you can't tell the difference between right and wrong?
after all, you taught me to love.

you...
you're special.
you're different.
you're weird.
but you're you.
you're like a magnet to me.
you taught me to be brave.
you taught me to never give up.
you taught me to think what's best for me.
you taught me to always be happy no matter what.
you taught me to be strong and swallow everything.
you taught me that after a thunderstorm, the sun will rise.
you made me feel like everyday is filled with rainbow and sunshine.
you made my problems, worries and issues disappear every time i see you.
you made me very very happy in your own different weird way.
you also made me cry like i've never cried before.
you made me discover emptiness that i never knew existed.
you made me realised how difficult it is to let go.
you are a great friend
you are one of a kind.

im really sorry for everything.
thank you to all of you.
you've taught me something :)